Sometimes when I write, I can feel all the words I have ever eaten – the words I have tasted, sucked, licked, chewed, gnawed and swallowed down and all those words come back, flowing out of me from my mind right on to the paper and I write. It’s powerful, it’s beautiful, it’s unselfconscious and I can blow the doors and windows right off your fucking house with the words I put on paper.

I’ve been writing like that lately. Writing things that leave me stunned with my own power. Unfortunately, they are also things that not only cannot be published on the internet but also have to be deleted from my hard drive. It is a strange, strange time to be me.

tttttttt

Met Kir for lunch today, because he didn't have any money and could therefore not buy his own lunch. We went to a fish restaurant that has a wide variety of fish type things. I usually get the chicken anyway. Today, we went in and sat down only to be told that they had no food today. So we walked around the corner to a place that offers hamburger, cheeseburger, and hot dog pizza. We had burgers. It wasn't very good, but it was $5 for both of us, including a generous tip.

I have not had a full night of sleep in about two weeks. This bothered me in the beginning, but not any more. I’m in the zone now, where being sleep deprived is just the new normal. It’s like college. My knees hurt and my eyes are dry and that is simply how life is now. I think a little slower, I need more caffeine, it’s all okay.

<<|>>

You might have missed...
I’m not sure my ego has ever cycled as fast as it has lately. - 15 July 2004
shots - 12 July 2004
But that was long ago, and in another country. - 22 June 2004
I was getting bored with linear thought… - 09 June 2004
You told him we slept together before marriage? - 20 May 2004

USAID is one of many donors for the project I work for. The views expressed herein are the author’s own views and do not necessarily reflect those of the author’s employer or especially those of the United States Agency for International Development or the United States Government. And I mean it. I probably give the US government heart attacks.