Did another meeting with another visitor to Ashgabat on Friday. I am so very tired of doing this orientation, but I know it’s essential for anyone new. This is how my part of the conversation always goes.

Yes, there are pictures of the president everywhere. No, they are just as common outside the capital as they are here. Yes, you get used to them. Mostly.

Yes, there are lots of pretty trees and fountains and buildings in this city. They’ve all been added since 1995. Yes, the Aral Sea is still vanishing. Yes, rural areas do need water. Yes, all the trees do need to be watered since there isn’t enough rainfall to grow them. Yes, hospitals are under-equipped and doctors and teachers underpaid.

Don’t ask me that, okay? At least not here.

Yes, there are a lot of monuments. Yes, the gold statue really does rotate to face the sun. No, I don’t think it’s light sensitive. I think it has a motor.

Yes, our conversation is probably being monitored. Yes, phone and email, too. Yes, you get used to it. Yes, even at the embassy.

Yes, those are soldiers directing traffic. The president replaced the traffic police with soldiers. You’re right, it’s not especially efficient. No, I don’t know why he did it.

Yeah, it’s hot. It will get hotter.

Since October, actually. I have only just begun to feel like I really understand what’s going on here. And Ashgabat feels familiar now, even if it doesn’t feel like home..

Yes, that was me you heard who had to leave my house because my landlord was arrested. Thanks, the dog is fine. No, I don’t know where my landlady is but I heard a rumor that she’s okay. The house has been torn down now.

No, there are no internet cafes. They’re illegal.

No, Coca-Cola is legal here. There’s even an American running the plant. Really. No, I don’t know why that rumor keeps traveling around.

Yes, 60 minutes did interview the president. It’ll air in September.

Actually, I think I may hate it.

Because I love my job and I am absolutely certain that my staying here and doing it means better lives for Turkmen children. I look forward to going to work on Mondays because I enjoy what I do so much.

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USAID is one of many donors for the project I work for. The views expressed herein are the author’s own views and do not necessarily reflect those of the author’s employer or especially those of the United States Agency for International Development or the United States Government. And I mean it. I probably give the US government heart attacks.