So here I am in Tashkent. Same apartment, same office. But it's a new job and now I'm a guest in the apartment. It's a strange feeling. I'm movng backwards and forwards at the same time.

I am basically very happy to be here. Living with Mike and Gulnara means we're getting our old rhythms of friendship back, which we all enjoy. We are back in the habit of just lying around and talking again.

The bad part is, of course, missing Kir. I miss him so much that sometimes it doesn't even feel like missing him, it feels like some form of going crazy. Like I'm disintegrating. And then I call him to tell him about the disintegration, and it turns out I just missed him and I'm fine now.

And Kir is going nuts in Ashgabat without me. I miss him, but I'm not lonely. He's downright lonely, and in a bad way.

I don't know why I am still using pseudonyms now that I locked the journal to everyone but my friends. Habit, I guess, and I may still give out the username and password to strangers if they ask nicely and promise not to be affiliated with USAID.

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USAID is one of many donors for the project I work for. The views expressed herein are the author’s own views and do not necessarily reflect those of the author’s employer or especially those of the United States Agency for International Development or the United States Government. And I mean it. I probably give the US government heart attacks.