Well, we bought a car. A maroon 1990 Opel Senator. It’s a big squishy car with lots of gadgets, and it cost $3300. I am now in the process of doing all the paperwork to actually drive it. A challenge to say the least. It’s taken about 6 hours of going from place to place filling out forms, signing things, and paying fees so far. A lot like dealing with the DMV in the US, only dirtier and less logical.

What I have done to buy this car:

Wednesday

1. Go to an auto parts store on the edge of town to fill out forms for transfer of ownership. Pay a $120 fee for transfer of ownership.

2. Go to the auto inspection place, waited around, discovered that the car does not yet need to be inspected

3. Go to the road police to register car. Told that I need a certificate showing that I am registered with OVIR. Argue that my kind of visa does not require OVIR registration. Am told I need the certificate anyway. Give up for the day.

Thursday

Nothing, road police are closed on Thursday

Friday

1. Go to road police with letter, signed by me, saying that I do not need OVIR registration. Letter is stamped with our office stamp and includes attached photocopy of Turkmen visa page of passport. Wait in line. Every window at the road police has a police officer and a secretary sitting there. Wait in line for 30 minutes. Officer goes away to talk to friend. Secretary reads a CD case. Eventually, we convince the secretary to look at my papers without the officer. She takes them to the accountant. The accountant spends half an hour with them, and issues me a bill for $154.

2. Go to the Turkmenbashi bank to pay the $154. Wander the bank. Find the right window. Pay

3. Back to the road police, to submit receipt. Sent to another building next door to pay a $5 road tax.

4. Go next door and pay road tax.

5. Back to road police, where we are told we can come back at 5 pm to get my registration, as long as I don’t need new license plates.

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USAID is one of many donors for the project I work for. The views expressed herein are the author’s own views and do not necessarily reflect those of the author’s employer or especially those of the United States Agency for International Development or the United States Government. And I mean it. I probably give the US government heart attacks.